Jesus is Victor!

My heart is overwhelmed by the faithfulness the Lord has shown to my family and I over the course of the past few months.  We recently relocated to Fort Collins, Colorado, to begin planting a church.  We were able to find a wonderful home to live in, we have family and some dear friends living here, and after a few months of looking, I have a job.  As I write this, it all sounds so glowing and so simple, and yet, it really hasn’t been easy at all.  I have cried many tears and been tormented at times with fear.  I still have much to learn. I am determined to remember, Jesus is victor!

I know it is the Lord’s will for us to be in Colorado. Because of this, my expectation was for things to go a ‘certain way.’  I was shocked to discover an ugly truth about myself, a ‘certain way,’ meant, my way. Translation: Kelly’s way = ease, comfort, no waves, no problems.  Smooth sailing. I was shocked because I thought being willing to uproot and leave my church family and home I loved, was certainly not ‘my way,’ but God’s.  I was right about that, but that isn’t enough.  It needs to be His way every minute of every day. This is not a new revelation to me. However, there is something about being comfortable that is not good for me at all.  In fact, it is downright detrimental.

Upon arriving to Fort Collins, a 2 ½  month long job search ensued. Searching and finding a job in Bismarck had been a simple thing; employers always needed help. After applying for approximately 50 jobs in the area, I finally got a call for an interview.  It was a job working with kids and I was excited about it.  I was offered the job and looked forward to starting the following week.  I awoke at 3 am on that Saturday morning and the first thought going through my mind was, “ I don’t have a peace about taking this job.  Kelly, turn your mind off, go back to sleep. You’re worried because it’s 3 am.”  I decided it was the hour of the morning that was causing me this ridiculous little thought. I breathed a sigh of relief, rolled over, and went back to sleep. Saturday morning dawned bright and clear with the thought, “I don’t have a peace about taking this job.”  This made no sense to me. To not take this job would simply be irresponsible. I was uptight and tyrannized by what it would mean for us if I didn’t take it. I decided a chat with my husband would help. Upon finishing my story I said, “I just don’t get it. There is no reason I shouldn’t be completely at peace about this.”  Chuck looked at me and said, “I know exactly what the problem is. We prayed for the Lord to give us peace if this was the job for you. You don’t have a peace about it, and neither do I. This is not the job you’re supposed to take.”  Instead of being panic stricken, I was completely at peace. I made the call  immediately and told the gal I wasn’t able to take the job.

As I continued applying for jobs the following week, I got to see first hand the immense volume of people seeking employment as I was.  My heart sunk. How do I stand out from the hundreds of people applying for each position? My mind once again became gripped with despair and I began to panic. I found myself longing to go back to the comfort and security of North Dakota.  Then to my dismay I realized, “I’ve become an Israelite!!!  I want to go back to Egypt.” I have wondered countless times how they had such little faith after all the Lord had done for them.  They, like me, focused on the problem at hand, rather than focusing on  the Lord’s promises and faithfulness. I knew I had to get my mind under control so I went straight to the word.  I read the story in Matt. 8:28 - 34 where Jesus sent the demons into a herd of  pigs. Verse 34 caught my attention, “Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.”  Why did the people ask Jesus to leave? The footnote in my Bible read, “Unlike their own pagan gods, Jesus could not be contained, controlled, or appeased. They feared Jesus’ supernatural power, a power that they had never witnessed. And they were upset about losing a herd of pigs more than they were glad about the deliverance of the demon-possessed men. Are you more concerned about property and programs than people? Human beings are created in God’s image and have eternal value. How foolish and yet how easy it is to value possessions, investments, and even animals above human life. Would you rather have Jesus leave you than finish his work in you?”

My answer of course was, “No Lord. I want you to stay. Keep doing your work.”  I applied for a job that truth be told, I wasn’t interested in. Not because it isn’t a great place to work, but I just didn’t think it was where I preferred to be.  I wanted…my way.  I got the job and I am thankful to have it.  It has put me in the proximity of many people;  young, old, and in between.  People I may not have met otherwise. There is a purpose for everything He does. 

When our faith is tested, and we can be assured it will be, we must decide what our attitude will be.  Will we be huffy, prideful, angry, hurt, or will we walk through it with such an attitude of faith and purposefulness, that we fill others with hope? As women in ministry we have people watching  who are counting on us to handle the trial as  women of  faith. We must rise above our feelings and negative thoughts, easier said than done, I know.  I would like to close with this brief excerpt from Corrie ten Boom’s biography entitled, “Corrie ten Boom: Her Life ~ Her Faith,” by Carole C. Carlson.  A little background first. Corrie’s sister Nollie had been imprisoned because the Nazi’s had discovered she was hiding Jews in her home.  Corrie had made it her aim to have her released from prison.

 “One morning Corrie was told that Nollie was being sent by transport to another prison. Corrie maintained a vigil at the gate of the police station and after many hours of waiting saw her sister between two policemen, being marched through the doors. Corrie ignored the men and threw her arms around her. Nollie smiled and said, “God is love!”

Corrie was shaken. How could Nollie be so calm? Corrie could have understood if she had said, “Can you believe that God would allow the enemy to bring me to this prison?” But, no, Nollie had given her experience wings: one wing, surrender; the other wing, trust.

This gentle Dutch woman was shoved into the prison van, where it was very dark and she could barely stand in a tight cubicle. Suddenly there was a beam of light through a hole in the door, and she took a pencil she had hidden in her thick hair and wrote on the wall, “Jesus is victor.”

Nollie was a constant source of strength to her prison mates. She was put in a completely darkened cell with another woman, who was sobbing in the corner.

“Cheer up,” Nollie said to her. “We won’t stay here forever.”

“Don’t you cry?” the woman asked. “We all cry when we come here for the first time.”

“Why should I cry? God never makes mistakes, even when He allowed the enemy to bring me here.”

What faith and confidence she had.  May we all live like we believe, Jesus is victor! May that  be the motto of our lives.  I Peter 4: 12 – 19. Let your actions speak life and hope.

In Him,

Kelly