Changing Family Dynamics

Families today face a sometimes never ending series of changes. Those changes can run the gamut from a military parent being deployed, job losses, divorce, blended families, adoption and so on. Regardless of the changes God is that safe harbor when all else is in flux. You can be there for children offering a place of love, stability and spiritual growth.

Because of the myriad of changes a family may be facing, there is no secret formula or process that works best. There are however commonalities.

·         Be authentic. Actively listen to the child and allow them to share their cares and concerns.

·         Be truthful. You do not have all the answers to the ‘why’ questions. Children depend on us for consistency. Keep your promises.

·         Be accepting. Allow them to be angry or sad. Change is difficult regardless of our age.

You can help a child dealing with these issues by providing constants in your ministry program. Be constant in faith, hope and love.

What NOT To Say

·         ‘Everyone goes through change. You’ll get over it’

·         ‘Don’t be so selfish’

·         ‘Jesus wants us to love everyone’ – Children need to know it is ok to be honest about their feelings and that Jesus loves them even when they are not perfect.

·         ‘You have to forgive’ – In time this will come but allow them that time.

·         ‘If you pray, God will make it all go away.’ – This is a promise you cannot deliver. Remember to only make promises you can keep.

What TO say

·         ‘It is OK to feel ______’

·         ‘I’m here for you’

·         ‘I’d like to pray’

·         ‘I care about you’

Scripture references

2 Samuel 22:2, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 46:10, Proverbs 14:26, Matthew 12:46-50 , Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 10:30-37, Romans 12:10, 1 Corinthians 13:13, 2 Corinthians 9:14.

In Him,

CJ Schindler